“You that seek what life is in death, Now find it air that once was breath.”
When Breath Becomes Air
Overview:
I’ll throw my two cents in. Personally, I found it deeply moving and life-affirming. There were times I felt tears forming in my eyes, and other times I read a passage several times to ponder what the author was expressing.
The book was launched in January 2016 and since then has caught the world by storm. Filled with emotional sentiment the story will leave you weeping and hearth-broken. Before talking about the award-winning story let’s jump to a few interesting facts and symbology.
Symbols:
For me, the book was filled with symbols representing a deeper and heartfelt meaning. From small objects to emotions, the book showed beautiful adaptions to the message they carry. After carefully reviewing and re-reading the relevant excerpts, I have complied a short compilation of meanings the symbols in the book possess.
The Breath:
One of the main recurring theme or symbol used in the book was “the breath”. Traditionally signifying life and existence, Breath is a natural involuntary process. Breathing is so automated and innate, we only realize its importance once it gets laboured or disturbed. Breath carries fresh air and oxygen to our body, limbs and cells. It rejuvenates and restores life inside every cell of our body.
Apart from the semantic difference between breath and air, the book relates this process to the act of dying. When breath becomes nothing but air signifies that when breathing is not restoring life inside us anymore, rather it’s purpose has become obsolete. The author was placed on life support machines and his breath did not have the potential to restore life, rather he was weakening. His breath simply became air. That’s why he removed the machines and preferred to spend time with her newly born child. It just goes to show the entire plot of the book. A man who perfectly well got stage 4 lung cancer and his entire life revolved around breathing normally. However, in the end, he realized he would rather take off his mask and spend his own remaining breaths with his loved ones.
The scalpel:
Paul was a brilliant neurosurgeon. His brilliance and talent were appreciated by his colleagues, staff and patients. One has to be extremely meticulous and careful during neurosurgery. The brain is a very sensitive and complicated organ in our body and any treatment about it must be dealt with caution.
The scalpel proved to be an important tool for the surgery and an equally powerful symbol for me. It signifies that to remove a tumour or an anomaly you have to utilise it to cut the skin. Only then will you be able to identify the problem and figure out a way to resolve it. Cut too deep and the procedure would have irreplaceable losses. This equates to the risk and unpredictability factor of the operation.
Paul knew the risk, as a neurosurgeon, he knew making an incision with the blade is an irreservable process. cut into the brain and perform his procedure. He was also aware of the unforeseeable risks involved in digging for a tumour and pulling it out. A slight wrong move and the patient might lose his sense of vision or memory. A 2-millimetre careless exit manoeuvre and the scalpel might hit any major nerve, causing partial or full-body paralysis. Much like in real life we hold the scalpel in our hands and our actions have dreadful repercussions.
Story
“When Breath becomes Air” is a heartbreaking memoir by American Neurosurgeon Dr Paul Kalanithi and was posthumously published in 2016. The book describes the tragic journey of Paul as he succumbs to stage 4 lung cancer. His story is a story of remarkable resilience and courage.
Paul was a neurosurgical residency at Stanford after finishing degrees in English literature and human biology. After struggling to find his passion, he finally discovers neurology to be fascinating and pursues a career in it. His life takes a shocking turn when his prolonged symptoms are diagnosed to be an aggressive stage 4 lung cancer. This life-changing discovery changed everything for him and his wife. Despondent but determined to carry out the treatment, Paul starts consultations with renowned the oncologist Dr Emma Hayward. Rather than be treated like a patient, he wanted to be actively included in the treatment and became a consultant for his own treatment.
Initially, Chemotherapy was proving to be helpful. The tumour reduced considerably and Paul regained much of his strength. Things were starting to look very hopeful and optimistic for Paul and his family. They considered reproduction options and began consultations with a sperm bank. Luckily, his cancer mutated in the epidermal growth factor receptor (EGFR) so they were safe to carry out having a baby.
Following a clear positive CT scan, Paul returns to the operation room but his recovery still has a long way to go. He figured he needed more time to heal as his technique was also getting better. However, after months when he decided to take another CT scan a huge tumour develops on his lungs. He calmly and objectively discusses the options with his wife. With his baby and graduation due in July, he decides to go for the chemotherapy again. This time he doesn’t respond well to chemo and it has adverse effects on his health. Alternate treatments were not considered safe and his health deteriorated to such a point that Dr Hayward disclosed how much time he’s left with. He holds his baby in his arms and dies in the operation room.
Thoughts & Verdict:
Utterly heartbreaking, emotional and tragic, his memoir and unfortunate demise left me weeping. After recuperating from the chemo, his approach towards life was so positive and uplifting. He and his wife were convinced that he would make a recovery and everything will be back to normal. However, life is not as simple as it seems.
The story is penned down beautifully because it came directly from heartfelt incidents. Truly depicting the struggles and set-backs faced by patients in their treatments.
Being so blindly focused on our long term goals, we often take little things for granted, small milestones, achievements, happiness, baby steps. Life is what happens between two sad incidents. It’s up to you to decide how you wish to spend your life at that time.
Danielle Writes 